Braces are finally off!

This is a loooong overdue update. But due to cancellations, my dentist only working at my practice every other friday and me having to swap days to be able to make the appointments has meant it’s taken loads longer that it should have done. But my braces were finally taken off 2 weeks ago and I’m thrilled with the results. I’m now starting the final phase which is at home whitening.

The appointment to get my braces off was a long one. I was in the chair 1 and a half hours, which is a long time to hold your mouth open. But there was a lot to do – I had my permanent retainer fitted which is a thin wire glued to the back of my teeth, my brace removed, some bonding done to 3 of my front teeth to close some gaps and even out the shape and impressions taken for my retainer and whitening trays. Plus a lot of polishing to get all the glue off my teeth. I sadly forgot to take a photo of my teeth just before the brace was removed but they hardly moved at all since my last photo which was when my dentist agreed they’d moved as much as they could and there was no point having the wire changed a third time.

The bonding was done to my 2 front teeth and my 2nd right (left on photo) tooth. As you can see my 2 front teeth were slightly splayed out at the bottom and one bigger than the other with ridges at the bottom. It’s hard to tell in this photo but my 2nd right tooth was also smaller than my 2nd left which also left a bit of a gap. The bonding is basically a cheap and easy way to fix small issues like this and didn’t take long. It’s quite a fiddly process though with lots of light, glue, water and air being sprayed into your mouth. I think the best way to describe it is that it’s similar to the stuff they use for white fillings – although I’m not entirely sure how different it is. As you can see in the latest photo it evened my teeth out and closed the gaps I still had remaining.

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Before

Before

As you can hopefully see the gap between my front teeth is smaller. Still a bit left to do

After a few months

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Current teeth

I went back yesterday to pick up my retainer/whitening trays and bleach. My top tray is a traditional hard plastic tray I’m sure many are familiar with which is doubling as a whitening tray to use with the bleach and a regular retainer to wear overnight as an extra precaution. The tray for my bottom teeth is a flexible plastic tray just for whitening. The bleach comes in these little syringes which you use to put a little blob in each tooth well before putting them on your teeth to wear for a couple of hours before removing and cleaning your teeth and trays. You’re meant to do this every night for 2 weeks and no more. If you want to go whiter you have to wait a week or two before starting again to give your teeth a rest – you are sticking bleach on them after all! My teeth have actually come out whiter than they were at the start but I think this is mostly due to all the polishing that was done when I had them removed so I’m not sure if I’ll do the full 2 week course. But the beauty of this is you can go as white as you want and then just top up when needed, as compared to getting it done at the dentist where you have 2 hours in the chair with the bleach and light and you just get whatever result you have at the end. The bleach itself is 6% hydrogen peroxide and came with 3 of the syringes which are filled with the product. Photos of the whitening kit are below…

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Cfast braces update

So this update took a little longer than I anticipated. I was meant to get them tightened at the begining of the month but it ended up being moved to today. I did say I would post an update after a month but there wasn’t really any noticeable movement by that point so I decided to wait until I got them adjusted.


My teeth have moved quite noticeably, it is clearer in the pictures taken at the dentist both today and when I had them fitted but hopefully you can still see in the ones from today. The tooth that was partly hiding behind one of my big teeth has moved forward and the gap between my big teeth is reducing. I only really want that gap to close completely now and they’ll be pretty much done. Once my treatment is completed I’ll see if I can get some copies of the ones my dentist took so I can do a complete before and after post.

The first week I had them on was pretty horrible, my teeth were really painful and my upper mouth was sore where the braces were rubbing against my lips. It wasn’t pleasant but it passes after about a week and after a few more weeks I forgot I had them on. They did affect my speech slightly for the first week or so too as I felt like my top lip was jutting out for miles, but again you soon adjust. The only downside really is food getting stuck in them is really annoying. I’m lucky I live on site at work so I can eat lunch and brush my teeth straight after in private. But you will have to take a small brush and some teepee brushes to work and when you’re out and about.

Most people at work didn’t notice them until I mentioned them….one girl didn’t know until the other week when I said I had a day off to go get my braces tightened. So they really are as discreet as fixed braces can be. Today when I got the next wire fitted my dentist cleaned and polished my teeth inbetween removing the old wire and putting the new one on. This is just the same as a standard polish, but more gentle as they have to be careful not to ping the brackets off. None of this was painful, just slightly uncomfortable. I go back in another 2 months to see how they’ve progressed.

Photos! Sorry for the difference in lighting, it was dark when I took the originals as the days were still pretty short.

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Before

11 week update

11 week update

As you can hopefully see the gap between my front teeth is smaller. Still a bit left to do

As you can hopefully see the gap between my front teeth is smaller. Still a bit left to do

I got braces! (again)

Like a lot of people I had braces on when I was a teenager, got lovely straight teeth then neglected wearing my retainer after I started getting fed up of sleeping with plastic in my mouth every night, it rubbed, dried my mouth out, gave me ulcers and frankly wasn’t attractive. Inevitably my teeth ended up moving, I was lucky they didn’t move much but it’s been enough to bother me every time I look in the mirror or see a photo of myself smiling for the last few years. After having a chat to the orthodontist at my practice a few weeks ago I decided to get CFast braces. I originally wanted an Inman aligner as I only really need to fix my front 6 teeth (which is what that is designed to do) and wanted something removable, it also works super quick. But having read up on it I realised that when it’s in it really does impair your speech. A big part of my job is leading school groups and giving talks to the public, we also carry radios so I couldn’t really be lisping at work. It needs to be worn for about 20 hours a day I believe, you can leave it out longer but then it takes longer. My dentist recommended CFast which are basically a clear/white version of train track braces most people have as a teenager. It’s not quite as fast but most people are done within 6 months and you can’t really see it unless you get really close. So he talked me through it, took some before photos and a cast of my teeth which they use to make the braces (they’re made to fit you) and gave me a date to come back to have them fitted.

I finally got them fitted yesterday morning. They did take a lot of photos as I gave permission for my dentist to use my case for his portfolio. It probably took just over half an hour to get it fitted, it was uncomfortable at times as there’s a lot of polishing, scraping, pushing and cleaning involved. It was never painful and the worst part of the whole thing was having my teeth sprayed with water quite a few times which is cold so doesn’t feel very nice but is completely bearable. The process is pretty much the same as getting regular train tracks fitted with the exception that these braces are made to fit you. When they come they’re on the cast of your mouth so each bracket has been designed to fit each tooth at the right point for them to move to where they need to go. The dentist then slides them into your mouth like a retainer rather than gluing each bracket one by one like with normal braces. For those that want to see what happens I found this video on youtube which goes through the process and explains it better than I can! At the end I’ll be getting a fixed retainer (a thin wire glued to the back of your which stays there forever) plus a regular removable one which I’ll wear for up to a year I think just to make sure they stay put. I’ll also be getting them whitened so hopefully by summer I’ll have a set of super straight pearly whites!

I’ve had them on a day and a half now, my teeth are a bit tender and I’m still getting used to the feeling of them, I’m going back in 2 months to see where they’re at and to get them tightened. So I’ll probably post an update in a month with some photos and anything that’s happened. I’ll attach a current photo below – yes I know my teeth are fairly straight but the photos don’t show that my lateral incisors (the teeth next to your front incisors) are further back than my front teeth, my canines are also slightly out of line and you can see where my front teeth are splayed out at the bottom slightly. Not overly crooked but I know my teeth can and have looked better in the past and I wanted to get them back. Sorry about the quality but as you can see they’re pretty much invisible unless you’re close (click for full size).

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No Squirting For You!: Why The UK’s Porn Ban is Totally Sexist and Absurd

This porn censorship is all kinds of wrong.

If you’re a fan of squirting, British pornography isn’t for you.

Nine sex acts in porn were quietly banned in the UK earlier this month by the BBFC and the government’s Department of Culture, Media, and Sport. Of particular note, female ejaculation was amongst those prohibited deeds in what appears to be a list aimed specifically at women and LGBT individuals.

Looking at female ejaculation specifically, I have tried to comprehend how something so natural, harmless and inoffensive is worthy of censorship. This is not censorship in terms of advising television productions (“perhaps don’t show a woman squirting in the afternoon soap opera!”) but banned from porn. Yes, porn: Exactly the sort of place you would expect to see, you know, a female orgasm of all things.

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The news was so absurd, I originally thought the story was satire. Regretfully, it is not.

Naturally, a lot of people are hurt…

View original post 475 more words

20 facts about me

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I’ve been badly neglecting this blog since I started yet another new job back at the end of may. This time however living and working at a zoo! I’m very happy but also very tired and have been lacking the energy and drive to keep this going.

I’ve seen the 20 facts tag doing the rounds on instagram and thought it would let you guys get to know me a bit better, so…

1. I’m a natural redhead
2. I have green eyes
3. I’m left handed but do most things right handed
4. I have a masters degree
5. I love tea and hate coffee
6. I’m really impatient and hate being held up. Dordlers, slow walkers, people who tip toe around a subject and drop loads of hints really annoy me.
7. I generally dislike selfies and maybe only take one a year to show off a new hair cut or something
8. I don’t want children but I’d like to get married some day.
9. I love vintage fashion, hair and makeup. Especially 40’s and 50’s.
10. I’m obsessed with polka dots
11. I live and work at a zoo
12. I hate raisins and any type of small dried currant.
13. I had knock knees when I was a toddler and was sent to ballet class to fix it. Now I have excellent ‘turn out’
14. I’m immature enough to find swearing funny
15. I have IBS
16. I also have psoriasis
17. I had fixed braces twice and am saving for another type of brace as I’m still not totally happy with my teeth
18. I took dance classes from the age of 3 until I went to university. My favourite styles were ballet and jazz. I was also a burlesque dancer for a while
19. I’m short sighted and need glasses
20. I can’t wear silver or any type of cheap metal earrings because they give me an allergic reaction and turn my piercings a funny colour. This unfortunately makes earring buying expensive.

 

My current hair care routine (with some before and after photos)

I’ve noticed my most popular posts appear to be hair related – so I thought I’d do a blog on my current hair routine!

1. Wash and condition every other day (I would like to reduce the frequency of washing my hair so if anyone has any hints and tips please let me know). I currently use Ultimate Shine shampoo bar from Lush and Body Shop Banana Conditioner. I find these both work really well on my hair and make it super soft and shiny. Once a week as a treat I use Big Shampoo from Lush with American Cream Conditioner. I don’t like to use these more often as they’re expensive and Big is quite abrasive so I wouldn’t want to use it more often. It does give my hair a lot of body and lift though.

2. After washing I wrap my hair in a towel while I get dry and do other post bathing routines. I have just bought a micro fibre hair turban so I will be testing that out soon as I really want to start minimising damage to my hair as much as possible. I’ll then brush it through with my Tangle Teezer

3. After that I quickly dry my roots with the hair dryer using a brush to lift the roots up and get them dry as quick as possible. If I don’t do this my hair will dry flat and look dull and generally be a mess. I then leave the ends to dry off naturally.

4. I don’t really do anything else to my hair apart from straighten my fringe occasionally. I don’t really use any other products on it or any other kind of heat styling unless I’m doing something special with my hair. I’ve found my hair has responded really well since I took a more minimalist approach and avoided silicones as much as I can. I’m noticing much less split ends and that it’s generally looking quite healthy. I’ve always got compliments on my hair (being a redhead) but I get a lot more now.

Apart from the products I use my routine has been fairly similar for the past few years. However I now use more hair friendly brushes and no serums/smoothers. I thought I’d post some pictures for comparison on the difference I’ve seen by just changing products and being more careful with what brushes I use.
I struggled to find photos that clearly show my hair in a similar light from before and after as a comparison but I think you can tell difference in the photos below. The picture on the left is from 2010 when I was still using conventional hair products (silicone based shampoo/conditioner and smoothing serums). The picture on the right is the most up to date picture I have (taken last month) – I was in dire need of a hair cut however. I wanted to use photos with a smaller time gap but I couldn’t find any of me in a similar pose where you could clearly see my hair in it’s natural colour.

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Salt of the Earth Deodorant and North American Hemp Co. Moisturiser

It’s been so long since I’ve done a review – mainly because I’ve not tried anything new until recently. I picked these 2 up in Holland and Barrett a few weeks back when they had an offer on. As much as I love T’eo from Lush it was just proving too messy and I wanted to try something else. I also finished another pot of Superdrugs Vitamin E moisturiser and fancied a change.

Salt of the Earth Deodorant £4.85
5/5

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Pros: Perfume free, non irritable, good value, actually works   Cons: Having to wet and dry the stick (which I don’t really mind but I had to nitpick)

I have to admit I wasn’t convinced this would work when I saw it in the shop. It’s basically a stick of crystal salts that you apply to wet skin or alternatively you wet the stick under the tap and then apply as you would a normal roll on. I’ve been totally amazed by this, it doesn’t stop you from sweating entirely but it is a deodorant not an antiperspirant  (I’ve found teaming it with my T’eo bar from Lush works when I need extra help) but it certainly helps to keep you dry and no smells whatsoever! It’s totally vegan and cruelty free and also perfume free so it doesn’t smell of anything. It’s not much more expensive than a normal roll on but I’ve been told that the stick will last up to a year when cared for properly (I’ve read that it’s important to dry the stick after you wet it to stop it from melting) – so it’s also amazing value! They also sell a slightly cheaper travel size version if you want to give it a try before buying the full size product. It’s certainly worth a try if you’re looking for a more natural deodorant.

North American Hemp Co. Line Lifting Cream £12.99
4/5

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Pros: Smells gorgeous, moisturises well, a little goes a long way, vegan, cruelty and paraben free. Cons: Expensive

That pretty much sums it up I think. I was going to get a Lush moisturiser which would have been more expensive for less product so I thought I’d give this a whirl instead. It really does smell lovely and moisturises well without being too heavy so it gives a nice base to apply make up on. I’m not sure how good it actually is at combating lines as I don’t really have any yet (maybe in another 5 years though!) but that wasn’t the reason I bought it. You also only need a small amount to cover your face and it’s vegan, cruelty and paraben free. The downside it is expensive but it works out cheaper than going for a Lush (my favourite brand) alternative. I’m not sure how it compares to other more natural/vegan/cruelty free brands though so feel free to share with me if you have any experiences!

10 pieces of advice I’d give to teenage girls today

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This is just a quick one. I was thinking about how much I don’t miss being a teenager and what advice I would give to teenage girls today;

1. Stop pouting in your selfies

Do you eat invisible spaghetti? No? Well stop pouting. It makes you look silly. If you’re going to take loads of selfies then at least use your imagination and change them up a bit. There’s nothing more boring than constantly posting the same photo of yourself.

2. Wear less make up.

Nowadays false lashes and heavy eyebrows are considered every day make up when previously it was only really seen on drag queens. I can promise you that you look better without the 2 pairs of lashes, scouse brows and heavy foundation. Honest. And your skin will thank you for it too.

3: You’re worth more than your appearance.

Stop being so hard on yourselves and each other. Chances are you don’t need to lose weight or need to get a nose job or a boob job.  Don’t base your expectations on celebrities or the media or anything designed to sell you a product. They feed on your insecurities to get your money off you. Plus, your looks won’t last forever so they’re really not worth all that upset.

4. Relationships are not the be all and end all.

I don’t know anyone that is still with who they dated when they were 14/15/16. Treat relationships as a learning curve, but don’t waste time putting too much effort into something that is not likely to last. Remember relationships are like farts, if you have to force them then they’re usually shit.

5. No, not everyone is having sex. And you have the right to say no.

Don’t do it because everyone else seems to be doing it. Chances are they’re not. And you’ll likely wonder what all the fuss is about when you eventually do. A short skirt, being drunk, being single, being alone or being flirty are not invitations for unwanted attention. Don’t be afraid to tell someone to get lost when you’re not interested.

6. Have a role model besides an obvious celebrity

Take some time to find a good role model outside of the glitzy world of celebrities. I often find the best role models are often the least famous. Have you heard of Jane Goodall, Helen Keller or Rosa Parks? Consider looking up to someone who made a difference, rather than someone famous for prancing around on stage semi naked and ‘twerking’ all over the place.

7. GCSE’s aren’t the end of the world

Getting a string of A*’s will not set you apart when you’re out in the real world. Get the all important C’s and above in your key subjects and you have absolutely nothing to worry about. 

8. Be less selfish and more grateful

Thank your parents once in a while. Chances are they’ve given you countless lifts, are paying for your expensive smart phone on contract and have done more than enough loads of your smelly washing. Consider doing more yourself, or at least saying thank you.

9. Don’t be afraid to ask questions.

Remember, all great discoveries were started by asking a question

10. Wear your retainers

Don’t undo years of agony by not wearing your retainers. Braces are expensive when you’re an adult

 

 

 

 

Whoever said your school years are the best of your life was lying

OK so this is a bit of a random blog post but I suddenly felt like sharing my experience of school – and how they really were not the best years of my life. If you don’t want to read a post about bullying and anxiety then feel free to go to youtube and watch this.

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This is a cliche that got reeled off to me all the way through my time at school. Now I’ve finished my education and I’m working full time I can honestly say I much prefer working to school, and I’m fairly sure I’m not alone here. While the days of finishing at 3.30pm and long school holidays make it seem like an easy ride, the school years are often a minefield of bullying, peer pressure, confusion, embarrassment and stress. I actually find it hard to think of anyone I know that had a relatively easy ride through school.

I was bullied meticulously throughout my primary school years with full awareness of the teachers who did nothing to stop it. It was a rather prestigious church of england school in a a beautiful village setting (next to woods, a lake and a waterfall on the grounds) that had a very good reputation. It had a big waiting list and often had children being taken out of private education to attend. Which makes it all the more sad that I absolutely detested my time there. I have far too many bad experiences to share here but I’m going to talk about two in particular that stand out.
I can vividly recall a day where the headteacher was covering my class for the afternoon and was handing out the new school photographs when the person sat directly behind me deliberately shoved their chair into the back of mine (knowing my name was coming up to go and collect my pictures) and jammed me into my table so I couldn’t get out. The headteacher called my name and could see I was stuck and trying to get out, but rather than tell the kid behind me to move their chair he merely called me stupid in front of the whole class – leading to a roar of laughter erupting through the classroom. Another time a few years later when I was around 9/10 and the bullying was at it’s peak, one of my bullies was viciously kicking my back through the hole in the back of my chair while others stole my pencil case and folder and threw the contents around the room. My teacher just stood and watched with a pitiful look on their face while I finally caved in and cried in front of my bullies for the first time. I just remember feeling so alone and helpless as not even my teacher was willing to step in and stick up for me after putting up with it for years. I went home and contemplated taking my own life when I wasn’t even 10 years old.

Jump to starting secondary school. My parents and I agreed it would be best for me to go to a school away from all my peers from primary school. With my only friend leaving for a private school we took the chance to send me to a different school to start over. After failing to get into my first choice my parents sent me to the next best school on the league table at the time. Moving from a tiny village primary school of around 150 pupils to a massive state secondary with 10 times the number of pupils and not knowing anyone was absolutely terrifying. But as I quickly found out, coming from a neighbouring town with a tough reputation and being the only kid with braces worked to my advantage – everyone was either terrified or curious about me and I never had any hassle (apart from various ‘ginger’ insults being yelled down the corridors now and then). I was also lucky to be placed in a form group with another girl who was a fresh starter and didn’t know anyone either. While the lack of full on bullying made secondary school a bit easier, navigating teenage friendships and their inevitable random fallings out for no clear reason, crazy hormones, puberty, first boyfriends and the boom of mobile phones and the internet made life very confusing indeed. I managed to keep my head above water until I got to my GCSE’s and I suddenly had a complete nervous breakdown from all the stress. The weird thing was I didn’t even feel it coming. I went home from school feeling sick one day, spent 3 weeks in bed feeling shaky, unable to eat and rapidly lost a lot of weight from my already small frame. I presumed it was a virus and went to go back to school. However, when I got to the school gates I found I couldn’t walk through them and had a massive panic attack. Que several months of frequently being off school and/or being sent home – much to the dismay of my parents and the school nurse (who proceeded to bitch about me, call me an attention seeker and tell me I had ‘no reason to be depressed.’) and seeing several different doctors before finding one who took me seriously – I was put on beta blockers to clam my panic attacks so I could get through the day without spending half of it gagging over the toilet from the nausea or just being sent home. I was just starting to get back on track when my parents announced they were getting divorced and as a result of all the stress and it taking so long to get help, I came out of my GCSE’s with mostly C’s when I’d been predicted A’s and B’s.

I know there are people who have had much harder times at school than I have and I’m not after any sympathy. But I just felt like sharing my school year experiences – more for myself than anything. But I wanted to give an example of how tough they can be. However I got my act together in 6th form and came out with really good grades – went on to university and I now have a Masters degree! So it’s not all doom and gloom. But the experiences stay with you and I still battle with confidence issues to this day – and probably will for a while (I’m planning on doing a post talking about confidence soon).

Sorry it was a bit depressing…..have a picture of a happy seal to cheer you up!

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Not wanting children – a rant

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I’ve never really liked children, even when I was a child I didn’t like to be near babies because I thought they were gross. I distinctly remember being about 6 or 7 and a woman came in to our class to talk to us and had her baby on her lap and I just kept edging away across the carpet until she eventually stopped talking to the class, looked at me and said in a rather offended tone; ‘She won’t hurt you you know.’ I also recall being about 8 and in the car with my family when my dad asked me if I wanted children, to which I replied ‘No, because I don’t want children messing up my house like we mess up yours.’ Even know I don’t really want to coo endlessly over someones newborn while they’re passed around the group like some pass the parcel. I’m not denying they’re cute and that it’s wonderful for the parents/family – but I just personally don’t really want to be a part of parenthood. It simply doesn’t interest me and I know my heart wouldn’t be in it, having children just would be unfair on everyone involved. As I’m in my 20’s people often assume it’s just a youth thing, but I’m 99.9% sure I won’t change my mind, so I thought I’d write about some of the more common responses I get when I tell people.

1. ‘Oh it’s only because you’re young, you’ll change your mind when you get older.’

This one is so patronising. I’m aware people my age are often more concerned with their careers and socialising, but don’t use my age to trivialise the decisions I make about my future. The reason I don’t want kids is simple – I just don’t want them and have no desire to be a parent. It’s got nothing to do with being more concerned about other aspects of my life.

2. ‘You’ll change your mind once you meet someone.’

Same vein as the one above, only using my relationship status as a scapegoat. Apart from when I was very young (and naive) and in love with my first boyfriend, my desire to not have kids hasn’t changed regardless of what’s happening in my love life. It isn’t a switch that gets turned on and off whenever I meet or break up with someone. You don’t change your plans and dreams for the future every time you meet someone new – be it platonic or romantic, so why is what I chose to do with my womb any different?

3. ‘It’s such a shame – you’d make a great parent.’

I understand this response is trying to be kind and make me feel better. It implies that there’s somehow something to be sad about or that I need to be offered sympathy because of my decision. But really, I don’t need cheering up. It’s a decision I’m very happy about. It also implies that reproduction is somehow a default that we’re meant to do and anyone who doesn’t chose to do so is a pity case. It’s really not true. I know you’re trying to be nice, but you’re actually being very offensive. My knowledge and wisdom can be passed on in other ways apart from parenthood, there’ll be my friends kids and relatives that I can act as an ‘auntie’ figure to. I’m also planning on (eventually) writing a childrens book. There’s many ways that I can pass on what I know to the younger generation, I don’t need to be a parent to do that.

4. ‘How can you truly be a woman if you don’t have children?’

This was a real one I had and I found it difficult to contain my annoyance. I’m a woman, I identify as female. That’s all you need to be a woman. Hell, you don’t even need to be born female or have XX chromosomes to be a woman. The whole concept of ‘true’ or ‘real’ women is a farce. You don’t need to reproduce to somehow ‘validate’ yourself. If you feel like a woman, then you are one. *que Shania Twain*

5. ‘You’ll never find a long term partner/husband.’

I’m pretty certain there are men out there that don’t want them either. If a guy is right for me, then chances are he either won’t want any or is indifferent either way. Again, it also implies that there is something wrong with me and that I’m somehow less desirable than women who want children.

6. ‘What happened to you to make you not want any?’

In short: Nothing. This again suggests that there is something wrong with me and I’ve somehow been triggered by a traumatic event to make me feel this way. Honestly, nothing happened to me. I wasn’t abused or had a difficult upbringing as a child, I’ve never had anything remotely traumatic involving children happen to me. I’ve never even had a child so much as a baby vomit on my shoulder. Childless/childfree people don’t walk up to pregnant women or new parents with a sympathetic look and ask them what kind of traumatic event happened to them in their childhood that made them want a baby.

7. ‘But being a parent is the best job in the world – you don’t know what you’re missing.’

I don’t doubt being a parent is amazing. I don’t doubt being a doctor, charity worker or a million other rewarding careers are amazing either, but it doesn’t mean I want to be one.

In conclusion. There is nothing wrong with me, I’m not traumatised, bitter, misguided or selfish. I just don’t want kids and that’s ok.